T.I.R.E.D.

I could have written this down here two days ago, but my net connection bogged down again. I could not open any websites, what i could just do is to chat. Some of those thoughts i had these past days may have been swept away already. I haven't placed it on a notepad or something such that i could record them all... because of my distaste of how my net connection was doing that time. So, here's what's left of it.

January 29,30, and 31! Since those days are school days, i have drowned my loneliness with the company of my students and with the tasks i'm supposed to do. From morning until early in the evening. The company of my students gave me a glitter of hope that i could get better. Getting busy so that my mind got occupied. But at the end of it, going home gave me the feeling that i was in the middle of the desert, or in the middle of the ocean. I want to vent it out but my net connection got messy. Trapping my emotions deep inside me. Wanting to let out my frustrations, my phone helped me. What started out as defense mechanism of someone tired and broken, i took and gave out a lot of pranks and jokes out of my phone and sent it out to whom it may be. Hoping and wishing, someone out there would reply to me with a smile. Hoping i'd be alright because they were still there. I had drown myself with movies just to flush the things i kept inside. Still, in the end...it didn't matter. Loss of sleep, loss of appetite, and loss of interest is what i gained in the process.

I'm just too tired of thinking what happened on this first month of the year. Too tired to think where will i escape from these.

I remember this line from one of John Mayer's song, "i'm tired of being alone..."

I'll just rest my case. Sent to SOMEONE who cares.